The previous post was 3 years ago.
There's a reason why I keep my blogs alive, this and the old 5074 are still up and very much accessible. I think I'm just not able to close them. No matter how ugly the posts were, how much I was talking bad about others and even ridiculing myself, it was me, serves as a reminder of the young and foolish me.
The one that was passionate yet pessimistic. The one that was hopeless and hopeful at the same time.
It is weird when people bring up reading about my blog posts in conversations that happen now. It's like someone discovered my unwashed dirty laundry that has been sitting there unsightly when I've tried to just put it aside. It's weird, it's worrisome that people will judge how you are now from what you've said in the past. Mine was filled with curses and tears. And how does a mere spectator, a person that reads all my sadness and happiness be able to judge?
But yet, I cannot bear to close them down. They are me and very much part of me. No point hiding them, it's out there, I'm out there. Why? For the simple reason that I want to change.
Then comes to why I can't continue. My blog posts feel like they are set in stone. It weighs and I'm afraid it may pull me under in the future. I can't express all I want to. I can't say why I'm such a happy person now. Judgement is out there. I love and I hate my blog. I loved how I never had fear in the past of talking about things that I want to. I hate how much I need to censor myself now that I'm all grown. There's so many things to talk about...
Maybe I'll just stop ranting here and start trying again. And I need to find my own way.
Let me end this rant with a photo that may be able to describe just how I am now:
Cue laughter pleaseeeeee...
(End of Rant for Now!)
Anyways, just a few quick statements from mua..
I am a happier person. Look at my Signature Darlie Smiles.
I have great support and I largely credit it to my pillar, you know who you are (You-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named-Just-Because-It's-Interesting-That-Way).
I'm a fitter person, not as fit as I want to be but slowly getting there... please don't die of laughter or roll your eyes at this... lol.
I want to help people. I want to listen and be able to make a difference with my life.
I will have a place I call my own.
Oh ya! Here's an interesting link!
I relate a lot to #3. lololol.
Tmr CHOIR with the LKKs (fingers crossed that He doesn't talk too much again and we'll be able to have good solid practice for our upcoming performance).
Oh and had an awesome din din birthday celebration for Cwoon with the Layyen & Ruey and plus ones minus one. -.- Rawrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I probably should've ordered the steak, but heck... save money for Imma need it real sooooonz for tuition fees all over again. *Cries